Cauayan City and its lovely people

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It was my first time to visit Isabela Province when I went to Cauayan City for the 6th Linguistic Society of the Philippines International Conference on April 11–13.

It was the farthest north in the Philippines I’ve ever been, and I have to say, Cauayan City truly surprised me.

The first surprise was the smallness of the airport. It feels like going back in time.

The second surprise was: there were no taxis! The tricycles are the main mode of transportation.

The third surprise is the friendliness of the people. First, at the airport! They were wonderfully courteous and helpful. I was able to get a ride from the airport to the hotel courtesy of the hotel itself.

I stayed at Mango Suites and the staff were just as nice. Prior to booking at Agoda, I read some reviews that they charged extra for fresh towels, no hair dryer. These were probably true before, but not any more. They cleaned my room, gave me fresh towels on my second day, and also lent me a hair dryer without extra charge.

The room was quite spacious and clean.

For me, Mango Suites also has a great location as it is near places that I often go to when I travel — a mall and the church! (I don’t really go sightseeing nor do I travel for leisure. I only travel when I have to.)

SM Cauayan is a 5-minute tricycle ride. If it weren’t too hot, I would have walked to SM. But then again there aren’t many trees that give shade from the scorching heat of the sun, so I took the tricycle.

Isabela State University where the conference was held is also quite close. Unfortunately I was not able to take a photo of the campus. The working committee were the best — very helpful, friendly and efficient. I truly enjoyed the conference with over 200 participants and presenters!

The Our Lady of the Pillar Church is also about a 5-minute tricycle ride from the hotel.

On my last day in Cauayan, I attended an English mass. The first time I went, the mass was in Gaddang, the local dialect.

On my way back to the hotel, I saw this sign on a motorcycle, and then it all made sense to me: there’s a ban on rudeness in Cauayan City.

I was quite happy to see this. I know some people might think it’s limiting people’s freedom to express themselves, but I’d rather observe this rule than be the recipient of rudeness.

Everyone I spoke with at the conference who is not from Isabela all said the same thing: Cauayanons are so warm and friendly and just really nice. From the airport staff, drivers, security guards, random strangers, hotel staff, everyone I met in the 5 days I stayed in the city, was just nice. Amazing!

I wouldn’t mind visiting Cauayan again.

Books in a café

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At Xiamen Gaoqi Terminal 3

While waiting for my flight yesterday, I bought a coffee at this café at Xiamen Gaoqi Terminal 3 and was so happy to see a variety of very interesting English books — from the illustrated Guess How Much I Love You which is one of my son’s favorite books, to a book of Shakespeare’s sonnets.

But one book that made me wish I was in a bookstore not a food place was Nigel Warburton’s A Little History of Philosophy which I really enjoyed reading.

I’ve been listening almost every night to Philosophy Bites for about a year now; I have favorite episodes that I’ve listened to many times. Reading Warburton’s book is truly “A delight. For the young of all ages.”

I asked the staff if I could buy the book and was told it’s not for sale. Luckily it’s available on Kindle for about $10, and I bought it and read it on the plane.

The other book I saw and started reading but will continue reading later is What To Do When I’m Gone.

It’s a beautifully illustrated book by a writer mother and her artist daughter.

The introduction moved me to tears as it reminded me of the times after my mom’s death when I realized she was no longer just a phone call away. There was no one I could call and cry to and ask to pray for me.

I don’t usually hang out in coffee shops or cafés in airports while waiting for a flight. It was serendipitous that I stopped at Miss Zhao’s Café.

Happy Wednesday from the Philippines!

On “A theory of everything”

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An introduction to this book on Amazon: “A ground breaking model of the universe that redefines our space-time reality from base dimensional interactions. With exact definitions of time, energy and matter that fully resolve the duality of light – as well as clearly explaining and contextualising the roles of relativity, string theory, quantum mechanics, the 4 forces, radioactivity, chemistry and the periodic table, thermodynamics and entropy, magnetism and electricity and much more. All of these combine into a complete working model of the universe which is able to explain in plain English how everything works from a fundamental viewpoint.”

My friend, GeNie, (not his real name, of course, but you’ll understand why he chose this nom de plume, a couple of chapters into the book) finally came out with the book he’d been working on the past year (or a couple of years?) Even though he told me it was “just about everything” when I had asked him what the book he was writing was about, I just thought it was an exaggeration, but reading the first few chapters of the book made me realize it IS, indeed, a theory of everything!

I find it impressive that he is able to write down his thoughts and organize them and express them in a very conversational manner. I am not a science person, so I cannot make a thorough review, but as an ordinary reader, and a friend, I am amazed by his determination and achievement in coming up with a book that contains his ideas/thoughts that he must have been musing on for years!

Give it a read, and let us know what you think!

“Judge not…”

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My students like to use the cliché, “Every coin has two sides” when they write an essay, and I often joke, “But not everything is a coin!” 

“Things” are not limited to two sides. Every story or issue can be seen from very different angles and given different interpretations, and if one is not conscious of how the person telling the story is weaving a narrative from just a single position, one can be easily deceived into believing that what he is hearing is the truth. 

I had this epiphany watching Game of Thrones, and watching my reaction to the character, Jaime Lannister. Jaime was at first portrayed as arrogant and heartless, but after a couple of seasons, he was shown to be a more sensible and even compassionate person. (I only read 2 pages of the novel, so) I then thought to myself how writers have so much power over viewers’ emotions — they can make you love or hate a person — by controlling the narrative! And in real life, it is like that too. People around you tell stories that, should you instantly believe them, could make you prematurely judge others. 

It was only in August last year that I got to watch The Lord of the Rings trilogy and read the three books the following month,(and realized how GoT borrowed much from LOTR.)

Like Jaime in GoT, Gollum also seemed contemptible at first, but upon learning about his past, one cannot help but have compassion for him. 

Smeagol/Gollum’s story is one that made me truly liked Tolkien and how he saw people, especially in this conversation between Gandalf and Frodo: 

“…What a pity that Bilbo did not stab that vile creature [Gollum], when he had a chance.

Pity? It was Pity that stayed his hand. Pity, and Mercy: not to strike without need…” 

(To me, Tolkien’s books showed how well he understood people in much the same way that Dostoevsky revealed the same in his novels which makes me love both authors.)

In the same scene, Gandalf said, “Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment. For even the very wise cannot see all ends. I have not much hope that Gollum can be cured before he dies, but there is a chance of it.” 

Here it is made clear that Gollum/Smeagol himself was a victim; that he lost control of himself and is to be pitied. Later, Frodo himself felt the same pity for Smeagol when he realized the power the ring had over him. Even when Sam wanted to get rid of Gollum, Frodo stopped him because Frodo understood. 

Many times I’ve been tempted to judge people especially when the ones telling me their stories are those that I trust. My hope is that I will always remember to pause, and to see the “story” from a different angle, to reserve judgment or to never judge at all. Lest I too be judged. 

Home is where…

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January 14th: still Christmas at the airport in Manila

Four days after we arrived from Beijing, I flew home to the Philippines and stayed 10 days to check on the project that my husband and I have been working on, and to interview my former professors, who are respected writers in my country, for a paper I’m writing.

Marison’s at SM-Masinag, where I interviewed one of my former professors, has delicious and authentic Filipino food

I stayed two nights in Manila so I could interview one of my former professors who now lives in Antipolo, about an hour bus ride to and from the hotel I was staying in.

Then I flew home and got to interview 3 more of my former professors.

Apart from the interviews, I also got to catch up with some friends and relatives, and spend time with my sisters and nephews, which I truly enjoyed. But the thing I was happy about most was having a good sleep 8 nights in a row without taking melatonin!

Due to flight schedules, I flew to Manila one day before my flight to Xiamen and was finally able to visit Mall of Asia for the very first time. I’ve visited Manila many, many times but for some reasons I’d never gone to the mall that would be on top of most Filipinos’ list of places to see when in Manila.

Since I traveled alone, I couldn’t help thinking about my son, so I was also anxious to go home.

Home. Right. Xiamen is home because that’s where my husband and my son are.

Though I was happy to spend time in the Philippines again, I’m also happy to be back in China. For now, China is home.

Beijing Zoo and The Temple of Heaven

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It was my second time in Beijing, so I didn’t go to see the Great Wall and the other more famous places again. As my son was with me, we went to the Beijing Zoo instead.

As it was winter many of the animals, like the bears were asleep in the middle of the day.

But there were still those that my son were able to see wide awake!

Apart from the animals, the view inside the zoo was quite nice.

In the afternoon, we went to The Temple of Heaven, and I really enjoyed walking around the beautiful and quiet grounds.

My husband and my son at the entrance to The Temple of Heaven
Young Chinese women dressed as empresses

It was cold at -5C, but I loved walking around this place and I’d go again, in winter or fall, if I have the chance.

A guiding hand in the darkness

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It’s dark, and it’s cold

And I can’t see my way in the darkness

I stumble in the rough, uneven road

But I don’t let go of your hand

You don’t let go of my hand.

Your hand is firm and comforting

I feel the certainty in its warmth and strength

There’s no rushing

There’s no hesitation

Just a sure, steady motion of moving forward

In the darkness

Towards some place

Right now, I know not where

But I trust you

I let you lead

I know I’ll get there.

May you find the guiding hand that will lead you to where you’re supposed to be. 😊

Happy New Year! 🎉🎉🎉🎉

Therese

The Gift

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Eli and his dad

I heard the music from the educational game that my son was playing on his iPad , and it brought me back to December 2022 when he and I were quarantined for 2 weeks in a hotel. For two weeks he played those games on the iPad or watched his favorite movies or listened to his favorite music. Over and over and over again. For two weeks, we could not leave our hotel room, tested for Covid almost every day, reminded twice a day to check the temperature, got a knock on our door three times a day for the food that was left outside our room.

Hearing the music makes me sad remembering how hard it was for me, worrying about how long my son could take being quarantined when he was used to having people around him at home in the Philippines.

But he survived quarantine without giving me a hard time.

My husband and I talked about how our son, with his Autism, is tougher and more patient than we thought he could ever be.

He’ll be 13 soon, and though his language and other skills are still those of a 4- or 5-year old, emotionally he is more sensitive than some adults. He can tell when he has upset someone, and he won’t hesitate to say “I’m sorry” and give them a hug. When he’s happy, he just comes up to me and gives me a kiss or a hug. The simplest thing can make him so happy. The sweetest smile he has ever given me came after he saw the read-aloud video I made for one of his favorite books.

Though sometimes I still wake up in the middle of the night worrying about his future, every day I am thankful that he brings us joy, and that he has made me and his father better people — more understanding, loving and patient towards each other.

To us he is a gift that others may find hard to accept.

Like most, I hope for better things in 2024, but I do have a lot to be thankful for this year.

Have you counted your blessings yet? 😊

I wish you all a prosperous 2024! 🎉🎉🎉

T.

The Equalizer: The 80s TV Series and the Movie

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Click here for image source

When we were kids in the 80s, my sisters and I only ever watched TV in the evenings. Our parents never allowed us to go out. So we watched TV with our parents, and from 7 in the evening, the TV programs were all American TV shows. The Equalizer was just one of those. Edward Woodward was great as Robert McCall.

When my husband asked me to watch a movie called The Equalizer and saw it was Denzel Washington, it never occurred to me that it was based on the TV series until I heard the character’s name was Robert McCall. Then I got so excited and sent a message to my sisters in the group chat asking them to watch it.

Click here for image source

I was so young when I watched the TV series that I don’t remember much of it except for one episode when Robert McCall’s son (played by William Zabka) died and McCall said, “Children are supposed to bury their parents.” (I heard this again in Lord of the Rings when King Theoden buried his son.)

One scene in the movie made me pause. The doctor who helped McCall from his gunshot wound had asked him, “Are you a good man or a bad man?” McCall answered, “I don’t know.” Later the doctor said that only a good man would say “I don’t know.”

And I think that’s true. A good man will not be too confident of his goodness. A bad man will never admit he is being bad.

Most of the time I think we overestimate our goodness. It’s probably human nature, or our brains are wired to be such. (The more I listen to Robert Sapolsky the more I feel sorry for our lack of free will.)

I find the movie entertaining, and I like Denzel Washington as Robert McCall as much as I did Edward Woodward.

You need to have a willing suspension of disbelief, of course, to enjoy it as there are so many impossibilities, although not as crazy impossible as John Wick’s seeming immortality.

If you’ve seen the TV series and/or the movie, let me know what you think of either or both of them.

Have a good week.

T.

Morning sky

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Philippines
Foreboding darkness, 
Those eerie clouds hovering — 
Look. Sunrise beyond!


I took this photo last week on a flight home to Mindanao around 5am after an 8-hour layover in Manila. I barely had any sleep, but seeing the sunrise when you’re up in the sky is always a treat. For a few minutes you forget how exhausted you are, and how much work is waiting for you when you land.

For a few minutes, life is good.

Another Haiku on Solitude

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Initao, Northern Mindanao 
A tree, the ocean   
Alone. No words, no music — 
So much to behold.

I’ve written about solitude so many times on this blog, partly because I’ve had it many, many times in the past and I know the joy it brings me.

The past couple of years have been so busy for me though, and I’ve hardly had time for it. Even when I had travelled alone many times the past years, even during the pandemic, it was always because of a task that needed to be done, so there was hardly any time for enjoying quiet time.

So now my body’s complaining. I have taken on too many tasks that’s demanding too much of my time and energy — my PhD, most especially.

I know I need time to get away from the many tasks and just be quiet. No talk, no music, no books even. Just me and myself and the ocean and a solitary tree would be good.

LAPC: Black and white or monochrome

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This week’s challenge from Slow Shutter Speed is to post photos in black and white or monochrome. I choose monochrome.

I converted these photos of our campus into monochrome using my iPhone photo app.

Hope you like them.

LAPC: Black and white or monochrome

Saving “ko” from being bound

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Like flowers, words too are not immortal

“‘Words, those guardians of meaning, are not immortal, they are not invulnerable,’ wrote Adamov in his notebook for 1938; ‘some may survive, others are incurable.’ When war came, he added: ‘Worn, threadbare, filed down, words have become the carcass of words, phantom words; everyone drearily chews and regurgitates the sound of them between their jaws.’”(Excerpt From After Babel: Aspects of Language and Translation by George Steiner)

Ko is a what not a who. 

Ko is a Cebuano pronoun meaning I or me. 

Moadto ko sa merkado. I am going to the market. 

That is how we “normally” write the pronoun ko, separate from the preposition sa or “to” in English. I enclosed normally in quotation marks in the previous sentence because these days what is normal for most people I know is to type or write kos instead of ko sa, hence Moadto kos merkado. 

Ko is a shortened form of ako (I). These days you seldom hear native speakers of Cebuano, except for the septuagenarians and older, use ako in such a sentence as Moadto ako sa merkado. Everyone will understand what the sentence means, but young people would surely think you’re old if you speak like this. I, sometimes write like this when I write poetry in Cebuano, simply because I like the sound of it. 

And I want to keep ko separate from sa. I want it to survive as a living reminder of ako. 

This may seem a futile attempt as language is always changing. As George Steiner quoted the French playwright Arthur Adamov, “Words are not immortal.”

In the same chapter in his book, After Babel, Steiner also quoted Leonard Bloomfield who said “linguistic change is far more rapid than biological change.” Indeed there are times when the changes take place rapidly, and here Steiner mentions the German language of the 1820s being a different language from that of 1770s and early 1780s. 

In Cebuano, as well, I noticed the dialect spoken by the twenty-something in my class group chat in 2021, was different from the dialect I grew up speaking and hearing. Many times I had to ask what certain slang they were using meant. And it was not just vocabulary, but spelling as well. 

Indeed young people and especially with their use of social media these days, can hasten language change, but as Steiner noted, languages can also be “strongly conservative,” and he gave as an example the French Romantics casting their plays in “traditional alexandrines and hardly modified the armature of French prose”; in the 1760s English prose “extended its authority over much of poetic practice,” and the Chinese language deliberately retained the archaic. 

Steiner further noted that “At most stages in the history of a language…innovative and conservative tendencies coexist. Milton, Andrew Marvell, and Dryden were contemporaries. In his ‘old-fashionedness’ Robert Frost drew on currents of speech as vital as those enlisted, or newly tapped, by Allen Ginsberg.”

It seems my insistence on writing ko sa instead of kos has a chance of assuring the survival of ko. 

There is hope for ko’s freedom. 

It does not have to be bound to sa.

Both of them can be free.

LAPC: Framing your photos

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I took these photos yesterday when we went to the beach despite the warning on my weather app regarding the UV index being “extremely high.”

Xiamen Beach at Huandao South Road

I stayed in the shade, but there were many people, many are tourists, I suppose, who braved the heat, my husband, my son and my husband’s niece included.

I took several photos of the same scene, using different ways to frame the subject.

Like Amy I like using trees and their branches as frames.

Have a lovely week!

T.

LAPC: Overlooked

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This week’s LAPC theme is “overlooked,” which I like because I like noticing things that are often missed because they are so ordinary.

When I visited the Flower Dome in Singapore for the second time last month, I noticed how people flocked towards the colorful flowers, which didn’t surprise me because they just looked so beautiful.

The succulents weren’t as popular, but I thought they were just as beautiful.

ST Doksuri spared Xiamen

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The super typhoon that is now wreaking havoc in Jinjiang, Fujian Province is named Doksuri which is the Korean term for “eagle.”

I don’t know much about movements of typhoons but as I was checking the forecast for Doksuri last night, I thought the name is really apt. There are 6 agencies monitoring the typhoon and all of them predicted a path that was west of Xiamen, but Doksuri moved towards the east of Xiamen. Like a proud bird who knows what it wants.

I was texting with a couple of friends last night, both of whom live alone. And they both said they wouldn’t be able to sleep remembering how scary Meranti was in 2016. I told them the typhoon was moving very slow at 20km/hr, which meant it wouldn’t reach Xiamen in the middle of the night.

Indeed when I woke up at 5am, there was no rain at all.

And when it did finally rain, it wasn’t the kind of rain we expected.

Apart from a few broken branches and fallen bikes, I did not see much damage at least on our campus.

Xiamen has been spared.

Workers rush to get rid of a broken branch blocking a road

Super Typhoon Doksuri

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I took this video this morning, less than 24 hours before Doksuri (called Egay in the Philippines) is expected to hit Xiamen early tomorrow morning.

If I can, I will upload videos or photos after Doksuri has passed.

When Meranti hit Xiamen in 2016, I was in the Philippines for a week. So this is going to be my first super typhoon. My husband thinks I’m over preparing, but I prefer to be overprepared than underprepared.

I missed Doksuri when it hit the Philippines; I left the country the afternoon before it made landfall yesterday. I was quite nervous boarding the plane, expecting scary turbulence but it was not so bad. I’ve experienced worse.

The weather was actually pretty nice when I arrived in Xiamen.

This is the calm before the storm.

Singapore Trip Part 3: Flower Dome and Cloud Forest

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It was my second time at the Flower Dome and Cloud Forest at Gardens by the Bay and I don’t regret going again. There were so many beautiful flowers, and I took several photos and I’ll post a few of them here. Let me know if you know the names of any of them.

Singapore Trip Part 2: Transportation and Connectivity

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Oxford Hotel, where I stayed in Singapore, is a 3-minute walk to the Bras Basah MRT station; it was quite convenient to take the MRT instead of calling a taxi. I bought a card from the 7-eleven store at the station. It costs 10SGD, but the card has 5SGD that one could use.

Bras Basah Station, Queen Street

You can easily top up your transportation card using either cash or bank card in a machine right at the station.

A selfie hahaha

Some MRT stations have escalators that move too fast for me. My young friend who’s Chinese but has been studying in Singapore for about 5 years, said she likes it. I’m old.

From and to the airport though I took a taxi as I didn’t want to drag my luggage with me.

Connectivity

One thing I really liked about being in Singapore is how easy it is to connect to the internet. There’s free Wi-Fi wherever you go. In the Philippines and in China you need to have a SIM card to connect to Wi-Fi as the provider will send you a code. But in Singapore you get free Wi-Fi hassle-free — in the hotel, malls, parks, airport.

Now you might think what would you need a Wi-Fi for when you’re traveling? Well, if you don’t have a SIM card that will allow you to make calls when you need to make calls, having Wi-Fi will let you do just that using WhatsApp or WeChat or whatever it is you’re using.

And of course, if you don’t like asking people for directions you can always use an app to help you find your way.

Singapore is truly tourist-friendly.

Update: Right now I’m in the Ninoy Aquino International Airport, and you can have free Wi-Fi even without a SIM card. (July 25, 2023)

Next post: Flower Dome and Cloud Forest

Singapore Trip Part 1: Churches

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In June I went to Singapore for a conference where I presented a paper. It was my second time in Singapore; the first time I went in 2016, I only stayed 2 days and didn’t get to see much of the city. This time I stayed 5 days, and had more time to walk around and visit places.

I’ll be writing about my trip and share photos I’ve taken. This is the first part, and it’s about the churches I went to.

I stayed in a hotel along Queen Street, which to me is like the church street as there are several churches so close to each other. The hotel I stayed in is right next to the Church of Saints Peter and Paul. I arrived at the hotel around 3pm and was able to attend the mass at 6pm.

Church of Saints Peter and Paul
Mass at the Church of Saints Peter and Paul

On the third day, after an afternoon of going around Bugis Junction which is a 10-minute walk from the hotel, I passed by St. Joseph Church which is also in Queen Street and saw that the lights were on. It was almost 6pm. When I went in, the mass was about to start, so I stayed.

St. Joseph’s Church, Queen Street
St. Joseph’s Church
St. Joseph’s Church
Statue of St. Michael the Archangel (Patron Saint of my city in the Philippines)

Then on Saturday after the conference ended at around 4 P.M, I took the MRT at Esplanade station (the conference was at The NUSS Graduate Club at Suntec City Tower 5) and got off at Bras Basah Station (just one stop) which is a 3-minute walk to the hotel. When I passed by the Church of Saints Peter and Paul, I learned there was a mass at 6 PM, and so I attended mass again.

That was 3 masses in one week. It was so long ago when I used to go to mass several times a week. But the proximity of the church just made attending mass so convenient. In China I would have to take a 45-minute bus ride and 30-minute ferry ride.

No, it’s not just churches I visited in Singapore. I did go to some exciting places, and I’ll write about those places in the next post. I need time. Time is a luxury.

Have a lovely day!

T.

Morning Gratitude

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I went out for an early morning walk, and I am so glad I did as it gave me time to be alone, to think, and to be grateful.

I have been too busy with work, studies, being a mom, being a wife. I went home to the Philippines for a Title Presentation and final exams, went to Singapore for a conference and now my husband and I are working on a project that will keep us anxious for at least a year!

So I haven’t had much time to be quiet. Too busy living to think about life.

This morning’s walk calmed me down, made me recall how the past 3 years of being away from my husband and wondering if I’d ever see him again, are being repaid with wonderful times together with our son.

All my worries and fears then were erased, and now I should just keep believing that everything will be fine. There may be troubles ahead, but they won’t be anything that we won’t be able to handle.

There are many things to be grateful for, and I am extremely grateful for everything that has been given me.

What are you grateful for today?

T.

LAPC: Environments

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My contribution to this week’s “environments” challenge from Tina at Travels and Trifles:

University of Saskatchewan, Saskatoon, Canada

I started teaching right after I graduated from university, so I have always spent more time in campuses than anywhere else, and when I travel, I like checking out university campuses as well. For almost 18 years I’ve been living on campus, so for this week’s challenge I’ll share photos of the campuses I’ve visited and liked best. And the one I’ve lived in.

Seoul National University
Harvard University
University of British Columbia
Jimei University

If you want to join the challenge, check out the details in Tina’s post here.

On Mortality

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Two weeks ago I had to undergo a surgery to remove what my doctor believed to be a benign tumor. The night before I had to go the hospital I told my husband I didn’t want to go through with it. I was afraid of what would happen if the surgery didn’t go well, like ending up with facial paralysis, etc. But my husband wouldn’t have any of it and assured me it would be OK.

On the day of the surgery I was not really scared, and my husband and I were even joking as he helped wheel me through the operating room. My attitude was kind of the same as when I had the C-section — just get it over and done with.

It wasn’t my first time to be put under general anesthesia, but this was the longest I was unconscious — two hours and a half. And when I woke up, I felt like days had passed instead of just 2 and a half hours. I was disoriented for days after the surgery.

It didn’t help that I couldn’t sleep for about a week. Even now I still feel weak and don’t feel like my normal self.

It feels so strange how you’re up and so active one day and the next you’re too weak to even walk half a kilometer.

Two days before the surgery I helped organize a webinar which was more successful than our professor and the department ever expected. I played a big role in organizing it as I had invited the speaker and some participants from other countries.

After the surgery, the excitement over the successful webinar was just like a dream.

Two weeks after the surgery I still wonder about the time I was put under for two hours. I was unconscious. It was not like sleeping at all. When you wake up from a sleep, you know you had been sleeping. But when I woke up from anesthesia, I felt like for a few hours, I ceased to be. My world stopped. I was gone. And it made me wonder if death is just the same. When we die, is it like our consciousness has been switched off? If death is just like that, what’s there to fear?

I think I’ve said it here before. I’m not really afraid of dying, but living in pain, or leaving behind people who need me, like my son.

But I know some people who are afraid of the uncertainty surrounding death.

My interest in the subject of anesthesia led me to this article about anesthesia for dying patients. Quite an interesting article.

Thanks for reading. I hope you have a good week!

LAPC: Glowing moments

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This week’s challenge is “Glowing moments.”

I like these glowing moments from nature that I’ve witnessed.

The glow from the moon.

I took this photo during an evening walk by the lake on our campus in Jimei.

At sunset.
Sunrise.

I could have started with the sunrise and ended up with the moon photo, but I like to end with hope — a new day for glowing moments.

Read about the challenge here: Lens-Artist Photo Challenge

LAPC: It’s Tricky!

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Clouds coming out of the tree?

In this week’s challenge, Donna asks, “What tricks do you use to get the shot you want? Do you love reflections in raindrops? Is there something hidden in your photo, or the unsuspecting behind a wall. Have you ever found ice cream clouds, or illusions in a waterfall at sunset? A unicycle? ”

For my entry, I chose these two photos taken a few years ago, of the sky and clouds and trees. Whenever I see blue sky and a few clouds, I always imagine seeing a huge painting. I don’t know if there are many people like me who like to look up at the sky when I’m walking, that is, in wide open spaces like on our campus where I took these photos.

Energy coming out of the tree and up into the sky?

I don’t need to go to a museum to be moved by a painting. I can look up at the sky and see what new painting there is to view.

Happy Sunday!

Therese

LAPC: New Experiences

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Lens-Artists

Ferris Wheel in Xiamen’s Sea World Shopping Center

When I heard about the new Ferris wheel in Xiamen, I decided to take my son there for his first Ferris wheel ride.

It was a beautiful cloudless day, and we got a lovely view of the city.

I like how I was able to capture this scene of the Xiamen Airlines plane with Haicang Bridge on the foreground.

Thanks to Anne for this challenge. Check out her post for more details on this week’s challenge.

On Originality

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Is there such a thing as an “original” idea?

Folk tales have no known authors because printing was not yet invented when they were first told. There were no publishing companies nor patenting offices to which one could go to for claiming ownership of the tale.

Isn’t it true that sometimes we come up with an idea which we think is so original only to find out a few days later that someone somewhere in a far, far away place across the ocean, someone had already thought of it decades or centuries ago?

Maybe there’s no such thing as an original idea, but that some are more fortunate than others in having access to a technology that can make them claim ownership of a particular idea.

I know this musing is not original either. Someone somewhere in the same town or across the ocean must have thought the same, either a minute ago or centuries ago.

Fear and Faith

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Sunset view at Jimei U, Xiamen

The uncertainty of life can be scary sometimes, but if you let the scariness of it control you, you are good as dead.

So you need to “keep calm and carry on.”

Crying or complaining may be therapeutic, but it uses up so much energy which can be used for doing more productive things.

So I choose to do more productive things rather than be paralyzed by fear of the unknown. My faith makes this doable.

I have faith to help me deal with life’s scary uncertainties. What do you have?

LAPC: Spring

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I have not contributed to the LAPC for years, and I was reminded of it when I saw Soybend’s post linking to LAPC and decided to join the challenge again.

Perfect timing as spring symbolizes new life, and I feel that I am starting all over as I’ve retuned to China after being away for three years because of the pandemic.

And seeing so many different kinds of flowers on campus this spring gives me so much joy. Walking by the lake and hearing the chirping of the birds and seeing these flowers — I wish it will always stay this way.

These flowers can be found in different parts of the campus.

LAPC: Spring

Spring

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Zhonglun Park, Xiamen 
Fine cherry blossoms
Pretty and red, lovely spring 
Springing one to life.

I’ve been telling my husband that we’ve been living in Xiamen for years, but there are still many places we haven’t gone to see. So on Sunday we went to Zhonglun Park. Xiamen has a lot of parks; every district has at least one park and Zhonglun Park is just one of these parks in Huli.

As it was Sunday, the park was a little crowded. Many were taking photos of the cherry blossoms, while others were having a picnic on the wide lawn. We just took a couple of photos and then left. I would definitely go back on a weekday.

Memories

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My old apartment building where I lived for 7 years. It has been renovated and looks a little different from what it was when I left it a few years ago.
Saw these flowers outside the building, and I just had to stop to take photos of these beauties.

Grateful and happy to be back in my second home, Jimei. 🌹💕

Sunrise

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Jimei U, Xiamen
Jimei U, Xiamen
Jimei U, Xiamen
Jimei U, Xiamen

It’s been months since I last posted, and though there were so many things I wanted to write about, I just couldn’t find the time. Nor the right words.

I hope to update this blog again soon.

For now I’m sharing photos I took yesterday when I went out for an early morning walk on campus.

Yes, I’m back in China with my son. And after three years of being apart, we are finally reunited with my husband. 💕🙏

I hope to catch up on reading posts from blogs I follow. So, see you soon.

“And miles to go….”

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It’s been quite a while since I last posted; it feels like years even though it’s only a couple of months as so much has happened.

This morning in class, I told my students it felt like I had not met with them for years, even though it was only in July that we said goodbye for the summer break. I forgot how to use some of the features of our virtual classroom.

Though I went to Cebu twice last year, and to Manila this year, I haven’t left the country in over 2 years. The last flight I took was 2 weeks ago, coming home from Manila, and I felt so sorry for myself for feeling nervous about the turbulence.

Before the pandemic, I took 4 flights every month for almost 4 consecutive years, and always took red-eye flights that I was too tired to worry about turbulence.

These days I easily get nervous, scared. I’d rather pay more than take a late afternoon flight. But I know I should overcome this fear.

I still have some traveling to do. I still have to see my husband again.

There’s still so much that needs to be done. There’s still miles to go….

The road we travel

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There aren't just two roads, nor three
There are as many as the people who trod them.
No matter which one we take, 
We'll get to where we are meant to be 
Easier for some, harder for others.
But nothing should be a surprise
To one who believes 
Everything happens for a reason.
And the discerning mind
Will comprehend that reason
And journey on, 
Calm.
Composed.
Confident.


-- T.

Inner Peace: A Haiku

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Your world's too noisy,


And you barely hear your soul,


Go in, find quiet.

I have been terribly busy with work and studies and duties at home this past month, and trying to avoid negativity as there’s too much of it in the world right now.

But somehow being in this world, you just cannot avoid it, unless you find time to be quiet, away from people who do not want to be quiet.

May you find peace within as we continue to live in this world where peace seems elusive. — T.

Words and the mind

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By words we learn thoughts, and by thoughts we learn life.”
—Jean Baptiste Girard

Bacolod, Lanao del Norte, Philippines

Today I went to Sunday Mass for the first time in years. In his homily the priest talked about how in the past, Christians recited the Psalms as they went about their work. For those who have not read the Psalms, these are songs that either thank or praise God, or ask for God’s mercy and protection.

The priest said the recitation of the Psalms set the tone for the Christians’ day — their faith gave them strength to continue working, gave them joy to work on their tasks. It would have been so different had they started their day by complaining as soon as they woke up, “Time to work again!”

And I quite agree.

I am a morning person, and when I see the beauty of a quiet morning, I feel so grateful for the day, and this feeling of joy and gratitude sets the tone for my day.

My day may not be perfect, and some things may annoy me, but I can always call to mind the things that I’m grateful for, and my day still ends with thanksgiving.

I know this may sound easier said than done to some people, but it is possible to be optimistic first thing in the morning and to keep that optimism at the end of the day.

Count your blessings. There’s lots of them.

I hope you find many things to be grateful for this week! 🙏

T. 💕

“The best revenge is living well.”

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For Z.

“Living well is the best revenge.” — George Herbert

I feel very fortunate to have come across this aphorism when I was relatively young. I think it was from an episode of Seinfeld that I heard it, and it was the first time it made sense to me because at that time I was rejected by someone I was madly in love with, and he had already moved on.

When I heard Seinfeld say, “The best revenge is living well,” it was like figurative scales came off my eyes, and I thought, “Why do I cry my eyes out when he is having a good time? Why do I let him know that I’m suffering when he is happy with his life? Why do I think he’ll be unhappy if I tell him I’m unhappy? He won’t! Because he doesn’t care!”

It’s amazing how an episode of a sitcom can change one’s life, but that’s what an episode of Seinfeld did for me. It made me realize that I lose if I let the one who broke my heart know that I’d become hopeless without him. I decided I was going to get my revenge by becoming a better version of myself.

A quick summary: I got over him; I’m happily married NOT to him; he and I have become best friends, me becoming his confidante for years now.

This is a lesson I always share with young friends who tell me about being betrayed or dumped by a friend or boyfriend/girlfriend, or adults who, sadly, have hatred for other people.

Harboring anger or hatred towards people is really exhausting because it takes a lot of energy which could be spent on something more productive.

Instead of spending time and energy badmouthing the person you hate or are angry with, use that time and energy trying to feel better, to look better, or to do something that will benefit you — start a hobby or a project, read that book you’ve been putting off reading for years, visit an elderly member of your family, do some gardening, exercise and lose weight and feel and look better. There are so many things worth spending your time and energy on rather than feeling angry with a person who most likely is not spending a single minute thinking of you.

In other words, LIVE WELL. Once you focus on trying to live well, one day you’ll realize that you really don’t care what the other person thinks anymore. And that is going to be such a relief.

I’ve heard angry people say they want the ones who hurt them to suffer. Anyone who was hurt has the right to feel anger, but it is also important to be aware that wishing for others to suffer simply proves that you, yourself, are suffering. Misery loves company after all.

If you let the other person know you are suffering, you lose. He wins.

Don’t let him win.

Live well. And win.

Tranquility: A Haiku

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When burdened with life's 
Unending demands, the soul
Needs tranquility.

I’ve been so busy multi-tasking. Once again, I’m a full-time student and on top of that, a full-time teacher.

It’s hard to find time to be quiet when now the only reason I wake up early is to work on projects my professors have asked the class to do. Though I enjoy being a student again, I miss having some quiet time. I miss going up to my property to do gardening or just raking fallen leaves which was what kept me contentedly busy last year.

I do enjoy being busy — I feel I am learning so much from the tasks the professors assign the class; I feel productive making lessons for my own classes in the university; it makes me happy spending time with my son….

Perhaps it’s time I practice being quiet for reflection while busy working or studying. I’d probably end up more productive.

Time is precious. The earlier a person realizes that, the more certain he will be he won’t regret its passing.

How are you spending your time?

Happy Weekend! 🌹💕

Memories

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Do you remember how we spent hours 
Talking about everything 
And laughing about nothing? 

Do you remember how we walked for hours
Not really knowing where we're going 
But kept walking anyway? 

Do you remember walking in the rain 
On a rainy April day? 

Sadly, you don't.
But I do. 

And it's sad when you're alone 
In remembering happy times
You spent with those 
Who have forgotten.

Yesterday I texted with a former co-worker who was once mistaken for my mother when she brought me to her husband’s workplace. We had not seen each other for years, and I was happy catching up with her.

When I reminded her of that time when she brought me to her husband’s workplace and the trip that we took after that which was full of hilarity, she said she had forgotten all that. And it truly made me sad, not just because she had forgotten but also because, I know, one day I will also forget.

A day will come when all those crazy things that made me laugh will be as if they never happened. My friends and I are all getting close to that time when our memories will cease to be memories. No one will remember.

The practical side of me says, “Would it matter that no one remembers when you’re already dead?” No, it wouldn’t matter when I’m dead, but right now when I’m still alive and capable of remembering, I cannot help feeling sad knowing that some of the best times I’ve had with people I care most about have been forgotten by them. Not because they don’t care but because those memories have been buried underneath newer memories and retrieving them is not as easy as it used to be when they were younger.

I, too, am guilty of forgetting many things, and I know one day I will forget walking hand in hand at the park with my husband, reading books with my son, laughing with my family, driving around the city with my best friend, having coffee with my other best friend…

These are all memories which, at the moment, I am still capable of recreating and remembering, but inevitably I will forget. C’est la vie.

Youth and wisdom

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When I was three and twenty 
I thought I knew everything that mattered 
It didn't matter that I could not find 
"The value of x in an angle,"
As long as I  knew who mattered in a love-triangle. 

Friends came to me for advice, 
I listened; I counseled 
And thought I was wiser than my folks,
Who could not understand how young people thought and loved. 

A score and more have passed,
And now I can find 
The value of x in an angle, even in a circle! 
I have learned more about the world than I did 
When I was three and twenty. 

But then I  have also found 
How cocky I was at twenty-three
Giving advice that now seem silly,
Thinking I knew better than the elderly 
Whose wisdom I now think to be sound.


Thoughts while flying

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When you reach a certain age, 
You tend to look back at your life
The same way you look down 
At the view from your window seat 
Thirty thousand feet above the ground. 

You see the blueness of the ocean 
The greeness of the mountains 
And you marvel at the beauty 
And feel peace emanating from within you 

But then as your plane nears the city
You see the unsightly smog hovering over it, 
The gray waters that surround it
Then you get a sinking feeling as the plane descends. 

Memories give us the same sense -- 
Of happiness when we think of the good times,
Of loss and sadness when we think of the bad ones.
But we can choose to look at the amazing view from our window seat
And fasten our seat belt and look straight ahead 

When the view only brings sadness.

Saturday Fun

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I was very busy and stressed out for most of the week, but today I had time to meet with friends I had not seen in about 5 years and we spent the whole day together. They took me to the beach and had breakfast and late lunch together. It was great to catch up and have a really nice conversation.

The resort we went to called Bluewater Maribago in Mactan, Cebu had lovely old trees.

It had been a while since I visited a place that I really liked, and today was a treat.

I would love to come back to this place in the not too distant future.

New Chapter

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Taking this trip feels like 
Going to a battle 
With only courage 
As your fuel 
For which you have a full tank;
Experience and knowledge --
Your only ammunition 
Of which you have barely enough.
Yet you go on, you fight
On a suicide mission
For the future, 
For the ones you love, 
For love. For life

New Day: A Haiku

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A new day, new life

The old, pain-filled year has passed.

This new one brings hope.

—–

I had a very busy November and December, and this busy-ness is not ending with the end of 2020. Yet, I am very grateful for so many things, and I’m sure we all can find things to be grateful for even though we may have suffered some.

But life has always been like that, hasn’t it? We win some; we lose some. We can acknowledge the pain, but we shouldn’t let it stop us from living because life isn’t all pain. There are joys, too. We just have to open our eyes and hearts to them.

Thank you for visiting my blog. I wish you and those you hold dear all the best for 2021. May we all find more reasons to be grateful in this new year. 🙏🙏🙏🙏

Therese 01/01/21

Beauty after the rain

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I took these photos the morning after an evening of heavy rain that nearly got our house flooded.

I think it’s important to find something to be grateful for and happy about after a stressful time. And the flowers in my garden give me just what I need.

Have a lovely day/evening!

T.

Unwind: A Haiku

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Everyone’s rushing,

Rushing like they’re in a race,

One needs to unwind.

—–

I’ve been so busy I haven’t had time to write or read (except for the news and short FB posts.)

I need to unwind, but….

This is a photo of a flower in my garden. I don’t even know what it’s called. I have to look it up. If you know its name, please let me know. 🙏

Have a great week!

T.

My Garden: A Haiku

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Always something new

A new leaf or a flower —

My little garden.

My mornings begin with a visit to my garden, and each time, a new bud makes me smile. How can I possibly have a bad day when my garden always gives me a reason to smile?

May our mornings always begin with a smile. ♥️

T.

Plant whisperer tales

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There’s no need to yell

I can hear you well, so well

Just please be gentle.

——–

When I just started gardening, my aunt said to me I should talk to my plants like my late mother did. We both remember very well how my mother talked loudly to her plants — loud enough for my two then-young and naughty boy cousins who had fun “hurting” my mom’s plants. My mom would “talk” to her plants and say, “What was that? A little boy hurt you? And you’re upset?”

Now I don’t worry about kids “hurting” my plants, and I don’t talk to my plants. But recently I planted a couple of cutttings of flowering plants and I’ve been waiting to see them grow and for leaves to come out. Two days ago, I jokingly “said” to the cuttings that if they didn’t show me any sign of growing, I’d just get rid of them. The next day I saw the tiniest green thingy on the one stem, and I had to laugh. It may all be coincidence, but I was just so happy to see it.

Like I’ve written in another post, gardening takes a lot of patience, but it can also give one happiness, no matter how simple it is.

My mornings begin with a visit to my garden, and each visit is an exercise in patience and a gift of simple joy.

Quietude: A Haiku

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Strength, wisdom, kindness —

They can only come to one

Who knows quietude.

—

Now that I’m back home in the house where I grew up, and living with my two sisters and a nephew and my son, it is not very often that I get to find some quiet time.

I am way busier now working from home compared to working full time in China during the last 17 years, which makes me treasure more those years of solitude and reflection.

Thankfully there’s gardening and visiting my tiny garden in the morning allows me some much needed quiet moments.

Lens-Artists Photo Challenge: A quiet moment

Patience and Gardening

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After having my flight cancelled five times in the last 5 months, I decided I would not think about when I can actually go back to China and just live my life as if I’m never leaving home again. This decision led me to pick up gardening as a hobby.

Thankfully my sister had postponed throwing away our late mother’s flower pots and plants that badly needed some tending.

And tending I did!

At first my sister was doubtful about my resolve to take over our mother’s garden, but it didn’t take long for her to realize I was serious about it!

Now my morning routine has changed a little: instead of reading the news while having my morning coffee, I now visit my little garden and water some of the plants while having my morning coffee. I get to enjoy a quiet and cool morning seeing green plants (not many flowers yet), and blue sky and also hearing birds chirping.

Tending to the garden is quite relaxing and rewarding. I especially like seeing new leaves come out.

Though I miss my quiet life in China, I’m beginning to readjust to living at home again — I’m slowly finding ways to have some quiet, “me” time despite being busy every day. (I’m typing this at close to midnight.)

Gardening reminds me of the need to be patient — some plants take longer than others to grow, but they will grow if you take good care of them. And when they do, you’ll feel a certain kind of joy that those who have never planted a thing could never understand.

Just as I have to be patient with the plants growing, this pandemic has taught me and a lot of other people, I’m sure, to be more patient as well. These days there’s so much uncertainty, and things change so quickly sometimes and sometimes they don’t. All we can do to stay sane is to let things be when there’s nothing we can do about them, and to always do the best we can with those we have control over.

This is one reason I like gardening. I can plant when I want and feel I have accomplished something when the plants grow. I have control.

I hope you find something to make you feel good about yourself every single day. 🙏

T. 🌼

Patience

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When kids your age were running,

You were just learning to walk.

When kids your age were talking,

You just uttered your first word.

When kids your age could bounce a ball

You just learned how to throw.

Don’t worry, son.

Life is a game

Not just for the fastest,

The strongest, or the smartest

But for the ones with the most patience as well.

And we have a lot of that stuff.

We’ll get there.

What a child remembers

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Days after he received the Nobel Prize for Literature,  Albert Camus wrote a letter to his elementary school teacher to thank him for the kindness shown him as a pupil. I was reminded of this letter today when I read this article.  (Link opens another tab.)

The letter in turn reminded me of one kind deed that my late aunt (my late uncle’s wife) showed me on my birthday when I was still 9 or 10 years old. I have many memories of my childhood, both sad and happy ones, but the memory of my aunt giving me money and kissing me on the cheek on my birthday because she said I looked so sad (and I was because my parents had nothing special to give me then!) is still as vivid in my mind as on the day it happened.
It seems to me a kindness shown a child remains in their memory long after they grow up and become adults themselves.

Camus’ gratitude, my own experience of remembering my aunt’s kindness and also reading the testimony of Dr. Herzenstube’s at the trial in The Brothers Karamazov, when he recounted how Dmitry as a grown man had stopped by his office to thank him for giving him (Dmitry), a pound of nuts when he was only a kid – these convince me that when you show a child kindness, they will never forget it and will remain grateful for it for the rest of their lives.

Some may say, this world can show many adults who had received kindness from their parents yet are ungrateful to them. Perhaps so, but the kindness or love from parents are to be expected because the parents had brought their children to this world. It is when the kindness is unexpected that the impact is stronger and therefore unforgettable.

Camus’ teacher was not family; Dr. Herzenstube was not family to Dmitry; my aunt was family, but not my parent, and she had her own 7 children! They did not have to do what they did; but they did it, and that’s what made the children who were recipient of their kindness, remember them well for, into their adult lives.
A child never forgets an unexpected act of kindness. Be kind to a child when you see one. You’ll never know when this child will show you his gratitude.
—-

Here is Camus’ letter to his elementary school teacher:

Dear Monsieur Germain,

I let the commotion around me these days subside a bit before speaking to you from the bottom of my heart. I have just been given far too great an honor, one I neither sought nor solicited. But when I heard the news, my first thought, after my mother, was of you. Without you, without the affectionate hand you extended to the small poor child that I was, without your teaching and example, none of all this would have happened. I don’t make too much of this sort of honor. But at least it gives me the opportunity to tell you what you have been and still are for me, and to assure you that your efforts, your work, and the generous heart you put into it still live in one of your little schoolboys who, despite the years, has never stopped being your grateful pupil. I embrace you with all my heart.

Albert Camus

LAPC: Cropping the shot

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This week Patti challenges us to show how we crop pictures we took, and for people like me who don’t know much about photography, the explanation/reason she gives for cropping her photos, are really helpful.

Before the crop:

As I am not quite good at focus, almost all pictures I take get cropped!

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers out there!🌹

T.

Lens-Artists Photo Challenge: Cropping the Shot

Someday: A Haiku

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Your sweet smile, laughter — 

Who knows why? I hope to see

What you see — someday. 

———————–

My son has a very infectious smile and laughter. Most of the time though, we don’t know what makes him smile or laugh. We are just happy to see him happy.

Sometimes he makes me say, “dinosaur” and then, “roar!” And that’s enough to make him smile as he walks away from me.

If only our joys could be as simple.

———

The other day, I got a message from Ahmed asking if I could help promote the comic book he created which features a superhero with Autism. This project aims to spread awareness about Autism. It’s called The Epics of Enkidu.   You can click the link to learn more about the project. 

 

On friendship and marriage

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This year is the 14th year my husband and I have been married. It may not be that long for those who have been married for at least two decades, but I am grateful we have come this far and are as committed to each other as we were on our wedding day.

As I reflect on my marriage, I feel so grateful that my husband still has the patience to stay married to me. I joked about it with my Facebook friends, but in all honesty, I really am grateful. I am not a very easy person to live with — I can be really mean to my husband, but we do find more reasons to laugh about with each other than reasons for meanness.

I don’t think there’s really any special secret to a lasting marriage — friendship and commitment are all that’s needed.

LAPC: All Wet

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This week Tina’s challenge is to post “wet images.” I don’t have a lot of those, except for the ones below taken on a rainy day.

“Be still, sad heart! and cease repining;
Behind the clouds is the sun still shining;
Thy fate is the common fate of all,
Into each life some rain must fall,
Some days must be dark and dreary.” 

— Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

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“And when it rains on your parade, look up rather than down. Without the rain, there would be no rainbow.”  — Gilbert K. Chesterton

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“One can find so many pains when the rain is falling.” — John Steinbeck 

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Lens Artists Photo Challenge: All Wet 

LAPC: At Home

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This week Amy challenges us to post pictures of home.

For years after my father died, my mother was the core of our home — everything planned or decided depended on what was good for her. This was especially true in her last years. Because I worked away from home and only came to visit twice a year, home was my mother.

Though she has passed on, we still keep some of the stuff that was part of her daily routine — such as her rosary beads which she prayed daily, twice a day.

Now that she’s gone, the attention has shifted to the young ones — my son and my nephews.

Where home in the past was the sight of my mother praying and the sound of her voice directing the cleaning of the house, these days it’s the sound of my son’s endless chatter and the banging on (not really playing) the (not computer) keyboard, ukulele and of course the sound of my voice constantly reminding him to quiet down.

Our home is probably the noisiest in our community (thankfully we are all relatives — all first cousins who understand– living in separate detached houses), but for as long as my son is happily noisy making what he thinks is music, I’m fine with it.

Happy weekend!

T.

Lens-Artists Photo Challenge: At Home

Note: A Haiku and a Thought

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Simple scribbled word

On unpretentious paper —

A note makes one’s day.

—-

It does not take much to put a smile on someone’s face — a very simple gesture of kindness or thoughtfulness can do that. A text message asking how somebody’s day went can make that person feel that someone cares. A flower picked from the garden to give a family member one is stuck at home with, can most likely brighten that person’s day.

We do not need to do something “big” to prove we care and make someone happy.

Sometimes a simple note on a Post-It can do the trick.

Happy weekend!

T.

Discovery Prompts, Day 23: Note

Lens- Artists Photo Challenge: Second Time Around

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I did not participate in the LAPC Challenge for months because of my very busy schedule, but today I am able to squeeze in some time to write a post and John’s chosen theme is something that most of us, I’m sure, can easily find photos for as there are many places we would like to revisit or imagine revisiting at this time when we cannot travel to any place outside our home cities.

The first place I would really go to again as soon as travel bans are lifted is Jimei, where my husband has been living all alone for three months now after my son and I left. Jimei has been my second home for over 17 years, and this is the longest I’ve been away.

Jimei, Xiamen

Last year, I was so lucky I got to see the U.S. of A. for the first time, and before the virus broke out. I got to see New York and Boston and enjoyed every minute of it. I was looking forward to seeing Washington, DC and Maryland in June this year, but I guess it’s not meant to be.

Oculus, NYC
Boston

The one other place I would really love to visit again is South Korea, not just for the place but to see my best friend again.

I hope we all get to travel again soon, and have the chance to revisit places we love and create new memories.

Have a lovely week!

T.

LENS Artists Photo Challenge: Second time around

Hope and Gratitude

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My last post wasn’t very optimistic, so despite my busy schedule, I am determined to write another one just to do my share of encouraging anyone who reads this, to have hope and to always look forward to seeing the light at the end of the tunnel; and more importantly, to cherish this time when you CAN stay at home and prepare your meals and/or sleep in instead of rushing to work without breakfast.

I, too, cherish this time when I can be with my son for a much longer time — we’ve been together since December 23rd when I came home, and then we left for China and stayed there for a little over 2  weeks, and then came back home on the 11th of January. My flight was cancelled three times; I rebooked 3 times. Finally a couple of days ago, I just asked for a refund.

With the “community quarantine” order in our city, classes have been cancelled; malls have been closed; public transportation, suspended. Thankfully, being at home all day has not really affected my 9-year old son that much. He has not gone to school or to his occupational and speech therapies for almost a month now, but simply having all of us at home — me, my two sisters and my 17-year-old nephew — is enough to make him happy. He does speaking, reading and writing  activities with my sister, and PE activities with my nephew. Having my sisters and nephew at home allows me to do my online teaching for the university. Though I am way busier now than if I were back in China teaching in a classroom, I am grateful for the time I get to spend with my son and be able to contribute to the progress he makes by reading to him, talking and playing with him.

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This is not the first pandemic the world has seen, and it probably wouldn’t be the last. But humanity survived previous pandemics when they did not have as much means to fight the enemy as we do now with advances in science and technology; when they did not have as easy a means to share information as we do now. I don’t think it is a false hope that we will overcome this one.

So believe that things will be better because they will. And in the meantime, focus on the many things you can do while stuck at home — because if you really look, you’ll find there are many tasks just waiting to be done that you have not been able to do because you had to go to work. Now is the time.

May you always find a reason to be hopeful and grateful.

 

 

The Precariousness of Life

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This photo was taken exactly a month ago when my family went to a park. Back then we never thought it would be sometime before we could go out for a stroll again. Our city has been under a “community quarantine” for almost three weeks now. My sister, my nephew and my son have not left our house for almost a month now. I get to go out for essentials.

The streets are eerily quiet; most businesses are closed. The streets and the air are much cleaner, but somehow it is not easy to enjoy the quiet and the clean air when you are very much aware of how people who have lost their jobs are suffering and fearing for their future.

These are very uncertain times.

When I left China in early January, I thought I would be back in two weeks. Now, it’s almost three months that I have not seen my husband, and we still do not have any idea when we will see each other again, or when he will see our son again. Sure, technology allows us to talk with each other everyday, but we all know the limits of technology.

Perhaps it will be sometime before our world goes back to normal. Even then, it will probably be a different normal.

The only certainty is: life goes on. Sadly not for everyone; but for humanity as a whole, it goes on and will continue to go on.

Wishing you a peaceful weekend.

T.

Traveling with a Child with Autism

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My son was only 5 months old when we took a 1-hour and 20-minute flight to Manila and then a 2-hour international flight. I don’t remember him ever crying on the plane.

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For the next five years, we flew an average of 8 flights a year, and though there were a couple of times he did not want to sit during takeoff or landing, most of the time he behaved himself well. The bigger he is getting though, the more worried I become about travelling with him because of how he behaves, not in the plane, but in the airport where he loves running around. But so far, for the past 9 years, I have always been grateful at the end of each trip that both of us made it to our destination safe and sound.

Going through security check

I can’t remember what year the pat down at the airport that we often go through started, but when it did my son who, back then (ages 4-7) was easily scared by strangers who tried to touch him, would scream and try to run when an officer approached him. A couple of times, a supervising officer yelled at me to hold my son and calm him down even after I explained that he was autistic. That was 4 or 5 years ago, and the officers doing the security check have since become more understanding and crouch down to my son’s eye level and do the check while I rhythmically say “pat, pat, pat, pat” with him. Whew.

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In December last year, we took a train to another city and also took the subway several times which meant going through security checks several times. By the time we had to take a flight home, he had gotten so used to the pat down that it didn’t bother him anymore.

Practice makes perfect.

Gadgets and toys

Unless he is very sleepy or very tired, my son would never sleep while traveling. He likes being in a car, train, bus or plane and look outside the window, singing. But if there is nothing interesting to see, then that’s when he asks for the iPad. I always make sure the gadgets are fully charged whenever we travel because some planes still do not have power outlets/USB ports in the seats.

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My son always needs to have something in his hands to play with and always wants to be chewing or biting something. He started biting his hands and fingers about a year ago, so we bought him chewy tubes which have been a blessing. Fidget spinners have also been a huge help in keeping his hands busy.

These three things I never forget to bring when I travel with my son: iPad, fidget spinner and Chewy Tubes.

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Each child on the spectrum has his/her own specific needs, and perhaps your child does not need a fidget spinner or a chewy tube, but the point is, apart from packing food, always remember to pack something to keep your child occupied. Traveling with a child on the spectrum does not have to be stressful, and it is good to let them experience traveling as often as possible so they will get used to it. The only way they will learn to cope with the difficulties of traveling is by actually doing it. It may be stressful for the family at first, but in time, the child will learn. It needs a lot of patience, but things will be better.

Experience is key.

Keeping the child at home to avoid embarrassment is not helping anyone, especially the child with special needs.  

Burning Forest

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Burning Forest

This is my son’s latest “abstract painting.” When I woke up the morning after he painted this, I thought it looked like a forest is burning, so now I call it “Burning Forest.”

I honestly don’t think he had a forest in mind. As usual he was just playing with the brush. But my husband and I were quite happy with the result and now it’s hanging on our wall.